Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because they wanted to go to high school!
I’m on a see-food diet; I see food and I eat it!
My homework ate my dog! Thats why I didnt do it!
Why dont we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, and the corn has ears!
If I had a dollar for every time I forgot my lunch, Id have enough money to buy lunch!
I told my mom I wanted to be a clown when I grew up, but she said I was too funny already!
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was stuffed!
If your teacher is asking for a pencil, just give them your phone. They always want to ‘take note’!
Im going to be a magician when I grow up. For now, Im just great at making my vegetables disappear!
Why did the kid sit on the clock? Because they wanted to be on time!
I asked my goldfish to play hide and seek, but it just kept swimming around!
What do you call a kid who never plays outside? A may-be!
Why did the kid bring a blanket to class? Because they wanted to take a nap-ptitude test!
If you think I’m silly now, you should see me before my morning cereal!
I told my sister to act her age, and she ran away laughing!
How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall!
Why dont scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my mom said I needed to learn how to ‘space out’ first!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
My teacher told me to have a good day. So I went home!
I asked my dog whats two minus two. He said nothing!
Why are spiders great at math? Because they know how to count on their legs!
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy!
What did one wall say to the other wall? Ill meet you at the corner!
Knock knock. Whos there? Cow says! Cow says who? No silly, cow says moooo!
Why dont skeletons fight each other? They dont have the guts!
I could be a superhero, but then Id have to wear tights!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated!
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they always use honeycombs!
If I had a pet dinosaur, Id call him ‘Dino-sore’ because hes always hurting my feelings!
Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
My dad told me to be myself, but I don’t know who that is yet!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse!
What is a cats favorite color? Purrrrr-ple!
Why was the computer cold? Because it left its Windows open!