You think prison is tough? Try the Dunder Mifflin sales floor.
In prison, the only thing that gets you ahead is a good shank.
Life in the slammer taught me one thing: never trust the quiet ones.
Behind bars, I learned that laughter can be your best escape.
Prison made me appreciate a good bagel you cant get those in a cell.
The way to survive prison is to always keep a snack hidden.
In the clink, we dont just do time we do it with style.
My cellmate could crush your spirit faster than a bad audit.
Prison rules: never let them see you sweat, or else it’s game over.
The hardest part of prison? Avoiding the prison break snacks.
I learned to make a mean shiv, but I prefer crafting staplers.
If you think the workplace is a jungle, youve never been to prison.
I didnt choose the prison life; the prison life chose me.
Inmate by day, paper salesman by choice.
Behind bars, I won every argument too bad no one was listening.
In prison, I discovered my true calling: motivational speaking.
You dont survive prison without a killer instinct or a killer snack.
Prison taught me the value of friends and the importance of solitary.
I might be prison Mike, but I never skip leg day.
Living in a cell? Just another way to find your inner peace.
You think office politics is rough? Try prison politics.
I always kept my head high in the yard; no one takes down prison Mike.
My best lesson from prison? Always double-check your sandwiches.
They say what doesnt kill you makes you stronger so watch out!
The best way to deal with fear? Become friends with the biggest guy.
Every day is a workout in prison; alas, no home gym.
Inmate or paper salesman, its all about selling yourself.
I learned how to hustle in prison; now I’m running my own business!
Prison lessons: humility and a healthy respect for your cellmate.
The bread in prison might be hard, but my resolve is harder.
You want the truth? The best inmates pull off the best pranks.
Make friends in prison; enemies make terrible cellmates.
Survival in prison? The art of barter and a little charm.
I became prison Mike, but Ill always be a paper salesman at heart.
Behind bars, you learn that laughter is the best guard against despair.
If you can survive prison, you can survive any board meeting.
Prison is like a long meeting; you just have to wait it out.
Never let them see you cry, especially in front of your cellmate.
I might be wearing orange, but my spirit is still bright.
The only break Im interested in is a coffee break.
You think you know struggle? Try surviving a day in my shoes.
Every inmate has a story mine just happens to involve staplers.
Prison thoughts: are prison jumpsuits the new black?
When life gives you bars, make a jailbreak out of it.
Behind every great paper salesman is a former inmate with a tale to tell.