To be or not to be, that is the punchline.
All the worlds a stage, but I prefer Netflix.
Cowards die many times before their deaths; brave men just get really good at hiding.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be, unless it’s for your next pint!
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears Ive lost my AirPods!
Parting is such sweet sorrow, especially if theres cake.
A rose by any other name would still smell like high school drama.
The lady doth protest too muchshe just really loves that dress!
Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrowunless its bedtime!
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some just binge-watch.
Whats in a name? That which we call a turkey, still tastes delicious.
Beware the Ides of Marchand the leftover pizza in the fridge.
All’s well that ends well, especially if it ends with dessert.
Though this be madness, yet there is method in itmostly involving snacks.
My love is like a fever, but one that requires a good nap.
Neither here nor there, but definitely in the snack zone.
The better part of Valour, is Discretionespecially around your boss.
Out, out brief candle! Just turn on the lights!
If music be the food of love, then I’m on a permanent diet.
You are too dear for my possessing, but Id still take half your fries.
This above all: to thine own self be true and dont forget to wash your hands!
What’s done cannot be undonebut we can order more pizza!
I am not a merry man; Im just mildly entertained.
When shall we three meet again? Let’s say, after happy hour?
Is this a dagger which I see before me, or just my imagination?
The course of true love never did run smooth; try riding a rollercoaster.
How far we are from Venice! But hey, weve got Wi-Fi!
Something is rotten in the state of Denmarkprobably last weeks leftovers.
Brevity is the soul of witunless youre texting.
Let me be cruel, not unnaturallike giving a cat a bath.
If you prick us, do we not bleed? Well, only if it’s a paper cut.
Now is the winter of our discontent; but lets spice it up with some hot cocoa.
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.
What a piece of work is man! Now where did I leave my keys?
To thine own self be true but first, check your TikTok.
Though she be but little, she is fierce especially when denied cookies.
If you cant handle me at my worst, then you dont deserve my snacks.
Theres a tide in the affairs of men; lets hope it brings pizza!
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mindthank goodness for filters!
What fools these mortals be! Especially at the karaoke night.
Im one who loved not wisely, but too wellespecially on a buffet night.
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in our diets.
Lets kill all the lawyersafter we finish this movie!
O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I! But at least Im a fun one!
When I do count the clock that tells the time, I always forget to set it!